No Motivation?

Two posts in one day?! That doesn't happen often especially after my first post was about no motivation. I decided to show you that I could pull it together and get something done today, besides blogging. I did some work in my kitchen today including 2, count 'em, 2 rounds of dirty dishes (Clarification that it's only been 2 days since I last did dishes and I'm not dirrrrty; I just cooked meals that involved multiple things like a crock pot, or the George, or just pans). I also cleaned the minimal counter space I have and found a home for my new knife block. I also took some pictures to document my accomplishment.

Spring Break can't come soon enough

I've been stressed all day, no not because I had my Amplification midterm but because of people that can't commit. I'm very much a person that when I agree to meet someone somewhere I will be there unless something comes up and I absolutely can't make it. That being said I hate, yes hate, it when people change plans like that. Yeah I can be wishy-washy a bunch (Krista will tell you that), but that's because I don't want to be a hindrance on anyone.

Break starts tomorrow for me! Right now all I have (for school) standing in front of me is a stupid lab to do, a class to sit through, and glorious clinic. I do have to work on Friday night, but come Saturday it's STL or bust:) Part of me can't believe that's it's almost mid-March already and that my first year of grad school is almost over. Soon (meaning 3 years from now) I'll be able to call myself a clinical doctor of audiology and not just a student. How amazing will that be?! At this moment in time Dr. Tamarra seems a huge distance away, but I know I'll look back and wonder where the time went.

I've been feeling quite restless lately. I think it's because I've been so looking forward to break and I'm not a patient person when it comes to waiting. This restlessness could also be that I feel I need to move somewhere else. If you think about it I haven't lived in the same place for more than 2 years since I graduated high school. I was at Luther, then USD, and now Wisco. It's about the time that I would be looking for the next new adventure. Maybe my adventure this time is to break that pattern, hmm....

3 months

Wow, so I didn't realize that I hadn't blogged in awhile (3 months)! Yikes. Well my Christmas break was good--it was def hard coming back to Madison. Classes are more intensive this semester and I totally miss sign language class! If I talk further about classes I will completely complain and that's not fun to read!

I'm working with Max again this semester. I love it so much! It's one of the best jobs I've ever had.

I've recently been re-introduced to the Wicked the Musical soundtrack and now I'm totally obsessed. I want so badly to see a performance, but I'm worried that I'm so used to hearing Kristin and Idina's voices that I'll compare and not be impressed. I'm really crossing my fingers like a lot of Wicked fans for a movie that will star Kristin as G(a)linda and Idina as Alphaba, but I don't know if that'll really ever happen.

Next week is Spring Break! For the first time I'm not only going home for it. I'm going to go visit Krista in St. Louis. It's not Cancun or somewhere else beachy, but it's warmer than Wisco! I honestly cannot wait! I haven't seen Krista since the end of July or early, early August of 2007. Plus St. Pat's Day is over break----bring on the green beer!

Blessed

Since I moved to Wisco most of my posts have been pretty whinny. Last weekend and this week I've realized how blessed I am. Last Friday, I worked with Max and I seriously love this little boy. He's so inspiring just having fun without worrying that he can't do things like everyone else. After that Katie and I met all the other first years (minus Nate) at the Nitty Gritty to celebrate both my and Caitlyn's birthday. It was a blast!!!! We hit Wando's and Brother's later that night and it just got better.
Saturday I had to work with Max again, and luckily I wasn't hungover! After I got off, Katie and I went Christmas shopping; first on State Street and then to West Towne Mall. We had a blast and finished our Christmas shopping. We rented Ocean's 13 (one of my new faves). Sunday was a typical day of church and then studying because I had 3 finals this week, and it wasn't even finals week.
On Monday I was sorta dreading getting my clinical placement for next semester, but I feel as though I got one of the best slots. Next semester I have clinic on Thursday afternoons and I'm with Kim onsite for the first 8 weeks and then with Jon (the new guy) at the CWC the second 8 weeks. I'm SO excited, but a bit nervous at the same time.
I don't want to bore you with every little detail, but here are some more highlights of the week: finishing Calibration class, getting 110% (for real) on my sign language presentation, getting an A not an AB in Hearing Assessment, and finally getting a 98% on my group's presentation for Hearing Science.
I'm really ready for break and there's only 1 final and a practical in my way, plus I get to see Krista D on my way home. YIPPEE!

Hope

I heart the Christmas season! Today I finally had a Sunday off (suck on that Target!) and I finally started my Christmas shopping. I got some really good gifts for some of the kids in my life and I really hope they like them! Plus yesterday we had a sweet snowstorm here in Madison (like the rest of the Midwest) and it feels all Christmas-y now!

I turned 23 on Friday. I don't really feel 23; I keep thinking I should only be like 20 (3 years, big deal right?). Since everyone in my life was busy, my mom did this awesome thing and called the Messmanns. Susan and Kenzie came and took me out to dinner. It was a pretty good night. Next Friday (Dec 7) we first years are going out to celebrate both my and Caitlyn's bdays. It should be pretty fun. I'm getting really excited for it plus Katie said she'd come so it'll be amazing!

Merry Christmas early y'all!

IDK

So besides sucking at life sometimes I seem to be sucking at blogging. Oh well, I guess I'll live. I haven't updated in a long time cuz I haven't been able to sort out my thoughts into words. Tears have unfortunately been common lately as I've been feeling kinda empty. I just feel incomplete and that I cannot live up to my own expectations. Everyone goes through funks and dry times and I'm in that right now.

Some great things have happened in my life recently which it's been good to have some wet and full times in a long period of dry and empty. My beloved Saturn that I've driven since my junior year of high school broke down a few weeks ago. I just couldn't stand putting even more money in it and so I got a new (at least to me) car; a 1998 Toyota Camry XLE. It's sweet and I love driving it. Hopefully it'll last me at least half as long as the Saturn. Plus through that my parents came out and helped me look for a car and cosigned a loan so that I could get one. They are amazing and I hope that someday I can be as good of parents as them.

Other sucky things that have happened (I just need to vent) are that my dog Scooby died and he was my baby and I miss him so much. I've never been that affected by a dog and I feel crazy even writing that here. Also I haven't fricking been on a real date in what seems like forever. I would at least like to experience that kind of love that people experience once in my life. I hear alot of you saying or thinking, "It'll happen someday." but this is what I feel now and I know that it will happen and it'll be great but it's too hard to focus on that right now.

So there you have it.

...

My life has changed a good amount in the past few weeks. One, the babysitting job I had gotten hired for ended up not working out. I had to find another job then so I applied at Target and Old Navy. Luckily I was offered positions at both stores and after a few days of pondering I chose Target. I started Friday and worked all weekend pretty much as a cashier. Sure there have been some moments of sheer chaos and panic, but I actually really like it. When it's busy it seems like I have a puzzle race to finish.

School has definitely gotten more time consuming in the past few weeks as well. I had my first test and I completely bombed it. PTL for not having grades follow you throughout the rest of your life. School is good though. I'm really loving my sign class. Honestly it's probably my favorite class. Clinic is stressful or at least when I'm pulled from clinic to do Head Start screenings. It's not the kids or anything that make it stressful, but rather the supervisor. I'm not going to go into further detail here. Regular clinic is great, I've gotten to use some sign that I'm learning and do two hearing evals because my second year wasn't there.

Other than work and school, my life is okay. I've really been sucking at my faith life lately. I just get so overwhelmed with things and doubts that it's hard to believe sometimes. Plus it doesn't help that I haven't been able to talk with my main supports or even my roommate lately as we have different schedules. At least there's Blackhawk in my life, I don't know what'd I would do without having that amazing church to go to and remind me what an amazing God I have. It's also been two months since I've seen my family and it's really starting to hit me now. Unfortunately I don't know when I'll get to see them next and it's really hitting me hard. I really need a mom figure to vent to face to face and get advice from. Right now my mantra has been "Life is good, eternal life is better" from Stellarkart.